Here’s a fun one (if you have a dark sense of humor, which I suspect some of you do).

Disgraceful

Just so you know, the book read, you’re a disgrace
to men and all those who draw air on the planet,
including animals and plants and various insects.
To make amends, you must quickly end your life.

“Indeed,” I muttered, marking my place with
a dagger and setting book down near a severed
head that rather clashed with the paint scheme,
but I’d grown fond of it and its gaping mouth.

My mother would have a fit and tell me to move
the thing into the bedroom where, granted, it
would go slightly better, but I kept it in the parlor.
If you come to visit me, you’re welcome to see it.